Friday, May 27, 2005

I Broke My Promise...

How pathetic could I get? I don't like breaking promises and I only find people that do pathetic. Therefore, I am pathetic. I'm sorry I broke my promise, i never meant to.

She's been giving me a hard time; i haven't had much time to do anything for myself because she's being an arrogant bitch, only thinking about herself. SHe did the worse thing the other day, she locked up all my books in an empty cupboard (in our room), and threw the key in the garbage, by the time i had come to, the garbage had already been thrown out and taken away. So now i can't get to my books, i can't get to them! I feel so bad, it's like, i had just started to become powerful, she sensed it and decided to screw everything up for me. She fears me and I loathe her, just when i had started to...nevermind, nevermind. She'll never change, she'll always be the arrogant bitch, always, always, yes; always.

I remember the day i found out she had thrown out all of my art work. I felt devestated, it hurt so much because I had put in a lot of work, and she had put in a lot of criticism.

"They were cramping up my closet, they looked ugly anways, maybe you can paint some more another time,. perhaps with more colour?"

And that was just the tip of the iceberg, she's done far worse things to me, how i loathe her. I don't know why she does things like that to me, although i don't do that to her, I'm better than her and I know it, I guess that's why she's doing these horrible things to me; because she's jealous.

I spoke to Pierre a couple of hours ago, he sounded very excited to hear my voice, i'm not sure why, since we had spoke the day before. Strange. I miss him, i really do, but then when i do, a wave of guilt hits me because I remember "the boy" in Spain. I've known him much longer, but thre's something about Pierre that...that makes me forget about her about everything that makes me feel bad, he makes me feel normal, he makes me feel loved. He makes me feel...happy. I like feeling that way, happiness is a beautiful, simple yet very overwhelming emotion.


Posted by Verity :: 4:42 PM :: 4 Comments:

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Friday, May 20, 2005


I have neglected this blog and i feel terrible. But i've been exhausted, and when i'm exhausted she takes over, unfortunate for you, right? Wrong, unfortuante for me. yes; me. I enjoy blogging and receiving feedback from my...shall i call you "loyal readers", i guess i shall, it gives me a sense of acceptance. Thank you for accepting me for who i am, thank you.

The Louvre was spectacular, spectacular, yes; spectacular. I had never seen any pieces of work, so close in my life. The Louvre is a place for all Art lovers, it's got a little something for everybody. As i mentioned before, Pierre and I planned to go together, and we did. He is an amazing person, when we were there he said he wanted me to stay in Paris, permenantley. Such a frightning thought. Afterall, how could he live with someone like me? What if she adapts to life in Paris, what if she takes over? What if, What if, What if? I told him i couldn't stay in Paris; my family live in Kuwait, and they would never allow me to live in Paris alone. A part of me wanted to stay with him, a part of me felt like i had betrayed "the boy" back in Spain, and a part of me just wanted to go home, where my family were. And here i am now, writing to you from my/our room, tidy, neat and pink; very pink. Oh the agony.

Just remembering it all makes me want to get on a plane and fly back, back to Pierre, back to the easy life. We don't always get what we want; unfortunatley.

"Sand in my Shoes" my theme song for the moment. "I know we said goodbye, anything else would've been confused but i've got to see you again."

I have to go now, but i promise i will be back tomorrow. I promise.

Posted by Verity :: 5:12 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

It's Been a While...

It certainly has! I have truly missed blogging, truly, yes; truly. A lot has happened since i've been in Paris. It is definatley one of the best places i have ever been to. It is currently 2:15am and i just came in from walking around. All i have been doing is walking around Paris, meeting people, conversing and picking up some French vocabulary. I can ask for directions. I feel accomplished, accomplished, yes; accomplished.

Pierre. He is, an outstanding person, he has made the last couple of days indescribable. We're going to the Louvre the day after tomorrow. It's funny how we met actually. I got tired after walking around for a couple of hours, and i stopped by and took some pictures of a little boy throwing some toast at ducks. I was not satisfied with the zoom on my camera, so i stood up from the bench i was sitting on and i walked closer, i did not realise there was a rock and tripped. My camera ended up swimming with the ducks. It was horrible, just horrible. A man came to help me up and fished out my camera. That man was Pierre, he's helped me around, introduced me to some of his friends and i've been having a great time since, great, yes great. As for my camera, well it is ruined, and there is no way for it to be repaired, which really got me depressed. I will always hold the memories of Paris in my heart, with or without pictures.

I have not suffered much with her. Au contraire ("on the contrary" in French), she has been exceptionlly well-behaved. But i know it's because when I/we return to Kuwait, she'll take over and be the complete pain that she is.

Two days I was asleep after a long night out, and i woke up to find around 10 carrier bags full, shoes and clothes (mostly in shades of yellow, pink and green) with a little note on the mirror with my favourite watermelon red lipstick: "Went shopping, wear this, you're making us look horrible in Black." Believe it or not, i did wear what she bought, not because i was weak, but because i am in Paris, and because i just wondered, what it would be like if I wore yellow, pink and green clothes, and i didn't look bad actually. At the moment I'm in my pyjamas, but i was wearing a light green t-shirt with white wings on the back.

I'm returning to Kuwait on Thursday. I'm coming home soon, wait for me...

Posted by Verity :: 2:33 AM :: 2 Comments:

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